Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menace Review

A film that once held joy in my heart sank a few years later with a realisation that largely impacted how I critique films today. That realisation was that a successful brand doesn’t equal a successful film. Something that people still struggle with today wether you look at Disney, Harry Potter or Doctor Who fans and, in my opinion, the main reason those franchises are still a hit today.

So yeah, I don’t like this film anymore, although I wouldn’t call it the worst in the franchise or even the prequel trilogy for that matter.

There is some good stuff here such Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor as Qui-Gon Gin and Obi-Wan Kenobi, with their wise and methodical performances living up to the Jedi tales we heard about in the original trilogy.

The fight scenes are enjoyable, when they happen, and the Pod Racing segment was intense and enjoyable even if the camera work was repetitive as hell. Seriously though 90% of the thing is just panning from left to right...

Duel of the Fates is still a standout in the series as one of the best tracks that plays nicely along with Darth Maul’s, albeit brief, appearance.

That’s pretty much it in terms of niceties as the rest of this film is like watching the House of Parliament meets a cast entirely comprised of Wednesday Adam’s’ happiest performance.

I did not remember the acting being this dull let alone forgettable! It’s a wonder how I can remember some of this film’s lines but I think that’s because of how out of place some of this dialogue is.

“There’s always a bigger fish”, Qui-Gon says seconds after nearly being killed by an aquatic death monster. Obi-Wan and Jar Jar, we’ll get to him don’t worry, are here crapping themselves, meanwhile Qui-Gon is busy making his latest inspirational poster for Facebook!

Let’s get this over with shall we?

Jar Jar is bad. You know he’s bad. He’s not funny, his existence to this film doesn’t add anything and if anything his scenes only serve as to ruin the pacing of this film’s finale. With that being said he’s not the worst thing about this movie.

Yeah, I know right? I’ve actually come to the decision that Binks isn’t the worst thing in a film he’s in?!

That would unfortunately go to Jake Lloyd as prepubescent Anakin Skywalker. For a film that serves as the introduction to the prequel trilogy that’s meant to be Darth Vader’s origin story... he doesn’t have much to do with this film and is only an annoyance when he’s on screen.

This small child only has one emotion and that’s to be a caffeine addict on AskJeeves.

Seriously though, my mind knows George Lucas wrote in Midi-Chlorians but I can’t help but wonder if we would’ve all just skipped through naive to them if Anakin hadn’t had asked.

All in all though, this isn’t terrible but it’s certainly not good. An hour too long focusing on things that don’t matter or are of any interest with some awesome action scenes in between.

4/10